UPIS Batch 1992

Sunday, September 18

If Scientists Wrote Nursery Rhymes

How many can you solve? (Answers below)

1. A research team proceeded toward the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitantly descended, sustaining severe fractural damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical structure. Subsequently, the second member of the team performed a self-rotational translation oriented in the direction taken by the first member.

2. Complications arose during an investigation of dietary influence: one researcher was unable to assimilate adipose tissue and another was unable to consume tissue consisting chiefly of muscle fiber. By reciprocal arrangement between the two researchers, total consumption of the viands under consideration was achieved, this leaving the original container of the viands devoid of contents.

3. A young male human was situated near the intersection of two supporting structural elements at right angles to each other: said subject was involved in ingesting a saccharine composition prepared in conjunction with the ritual observance of an annual fixed-day religious festival. Insertion into the saccharine composition of the opposable digit of his forelimb was followed by removal of a drupe of genus prune. Subsequently the subject made a declarative statement regarding the high quality of his character as a young male human.

4. A triumvirate of murine rodents totally deviod of ophthalmic acuity were observed in a state of rapid locomotion in pursuit of an agriculturalist's marital adjunct. Said adjunct then performed triple caudectomy utilizing an acutely honed bladed instrument generally used for the subdivision of edible tissue.

5. A female of the species homo sapiens was the possesor of a small immature ruminant of the genus ovis, the outer most covering of which reflected allwavelengths of visible light with a luminosity equal to that mass of naturally occurring microscopically crystalline water. Regardless of the translational pathway chosen by the homo sapien, the probability was 1 that the forementioned ruminent would select the same pathway.

6. A human female, extremely captious and given to opposed behavior, was questioned as to the dynamic state of her cultivated tract of land used for production of various types of flora. The tract components were enumerated as argentous tone-producing agents, a rare species of oceaninc growth and pulchritudinous young females situated in a linear orientation.

ANSWERS:

1. Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
And Jill came tumbling after.

2. Jack Sprat could eat no fat.
His wife could eat no lean.
And so.......(I don't remember the words)
They ate the platter clean.

3. Little Jack Horner
Sat in the corner
Eating his Christmas pie
He stuck in his thumb
And pulled out a plum
And said "What a good boy am I!"

4. Three blind mice, three blind mice
See how they run, see how they run.
They all ran after the farmer's wife
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife
Did you ever see such a sight in your life
As three blind mice.

5. Mary had a Little Lamb
Whose fleece was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
The lamb was sure to go.

6. Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow.
With silver bells, and cockle shells
And pretty maidens, all in a row.

Posted by batch 92 :: 2:01 PM :: 0 comments

Monday, September 5

12 Little Things Every Filipino Can Do To Help Our Country

Alex used to be a PMA cadet but was removed from the rolls due to his refusal to testify against a mistah who violated the PMA honour code. After the academy, he studied law, got involved in political exercises and is quite busy in the corporate world. He is an idealistic young man and a Filipino to be proud of.

Please help us spread this message to all your Filipino friends and relatives if you.

***

THERE'S a booklet making the rounds in Metro Manila that every Filipino who loves his country should get hold of and read, and hopefully put the points it raises into practice, in order to help our nation...

"Twelve (12) Little Things Every Filipino Can Do To Help Our Country," by Alexander Ledesma Lacson, may be a "voice in the wilderness"; but as Fr. Ruben Tanseco, S.J. puts it, what Alex proposes are "very concrete, practical and doable" actions for us ordinary Filipinos.

A simple enumeration of these "twelve little things" will not do justice to the work of Alex. You've got to read the whole text, but I shall try to compress a few lines for some of the items mentioned.

1. Follow traffic rules -- Why is that the most important? The answer is simple. Traffic rules are the simplest of our laws. If we learn to follow them, it will be the lowest form of national discipline that we can develop. Since it is totally without monetary cost, it should be easy for us to comply with, and therefore should provide a good start.

2. Whenever you buy or pay for anything, always ask for an official receipt. -- If a seller does not issue an official receipt (OR) when you buy a product, the seller may or may not remit the tax to the government. Without an OR, there is no record of the sale transaction, and the tax that you paid may not be remitted to the Bureau of Internal Revenue.

3. Do not buy smuggled goods. Buy local, buy Filipino. -- It may not be good economics to buy 100 percent local products. What I suggest is for us to take a "50-50" buying attitude. This means that we must develop the attitude of using 50 percent of our budget for local products and the other 50 percent for imported choices.

4. When you talk to others, especially foreigners, speak positively of our race and our country -- this is best addressed to the rich and the middle class in our country, who have contact with the outside world. It is they who talk to, dine or deal with foreigners either here or abroad. It is what they say and do which creates impressions about us among foreigners.

5. Respect your traffic officer, policeman, soldier and other public servants -- There is nothing like the power of respect. It makes a person proud. It makes one feel honorable. At the same time, courtesy to others is good manners. It is class and elegance and kindness. It is seeing the value and dignity in the other man. It is, in fact, a mark of a most profound education.

6. Do not litter. Dispose your garbage properly. Segregate. Recycle. Conserve. -- As Louis Armstrong says in his song: "I see trees of green, red roses, too, I see them bloom for me and you and I think to myself, what a wonderful world."

7. Support your church. (or charitable/ civic organizations)

8. During elections, do your solemn duty. -- Honesty, more than a masteral or doctorate degree, is what gives credibility. And credibility is essential because it is a leader's link to the people. It is what makes the people look to one direction, follow a common vision, and perform a uniform act. In short, credibility is what makes people follow the leader.

9. Pay your employees well. -- No exercise is better for the human heart than to reach down and lift someone else up. This truly defines a successful life. For success is the sum, not of our earthly possessions, but of how many times we have shown love and kindness to others.

10. Pay your taxes. -- In 2003, P83 billion was collected from individual income taxes. But 91 percent of this amount came from salaried workers from the government and private sector, people who had no choice since their income taxes were withheld mandatorily. Only P7 billion of the P83 billion came from businessmen and professionals like doctors, lawyers, accountants and architects, among others.

11. Adopt a scholar or adopt a poor child. -- You can make a difference in the future of our country by making a difference in the world of children.

12. Be a good parent. Teach your kids to follow the law and to love our country. -- Today's children will someday rule and lead this world. But whether they will be bad rulers or good leaders will depend largely on how we raise them today. Our future is in the hearts and minds of our children.

Posted by batch 92 :: 12:52 PM :: 0 comments